I just can’t wrap my head around it….

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In August of last year one of my closest friends was in a horrific car accident and 6 weeks later died. Yeah, after 30 some operations to help correct all the internal damage her heart just couldn’t take it any longer. Her husband, a best friend of my hubster, had to make the decision to let her go.

How do  you do that? How do you accept that your life is forever changed? How do you go on and parent your 4 children without your spouse? How do you accept your new reality? How do you wrap your head around it? I just can’t do it.

It’s been almost a year now  since Tammy died. I hear certain songs on the radio and I immediately think of her…and of Bon and the kids .I still cry, every single time I hear, “Tell your Heart to Beat Again” by Danny Gokey.  Somedays I just have a floating memory of things we did together and I think…How can she be gone? Really, how do you go from living to not, just like that. I’ve had people that I’ve known die but with Tammy, it’s different. It just can not be real.

I know she is with our Heavenly Father. That she has gone on to the promised land. That she is happy.  Why can’t I wrap my head around that ? I miss you, Tammy DeLong.

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